Punishment Duty
by alleymap
Summary: When you get into trouble, you have to face the consequences. 006 and 007 do just that. A little 15 minute exploration of friendship.


Just a little piece I've had floating about on my hard drive for a while. Discovered it yesterday and thought I'd share.

Set well before the events of Goldeneye, and just a bit of fun. No harm meant.

* * *

**Punishment Duty.**

'James, this is ridiculous.'

He desperately wanted to say more. Like the fact that this was unnecessary, completely unfair, a waste of time, and entirely vindictive.

'Your bow tie is crooked. Come here.'

A scowling 006 allowed a smirking 007 to adjust the complicated knot that formed the black, satin edged bow tie at his throat. The adjustment did not improve his temper in the least.

'Explain to me exactly, why we are doing this?'

'Because, my dear boy, we have our orders. And this isn't exactly difficult, is it?'

'I suppose not,' Alec grudgingly admitted. 'But it's hardly what I would call entertaining.'

James glanced round the room at the elegantly dinner jacketed men, the fabulously dressed women, parading round in colours as vivid as birds of paradise.

'Oh, I don't know about that,'

As if to prove his point, a woman in a startling kingfisher blue dress, slashed to the thigh sashayed past, her white blonde hair piled high upon her head. Bond immediately flashed a smile at her, his white teeth a dramatic contrast to the jet black of his hair.

To his surprise the woman barely afforded him a second glance. Alec couldn't hold back a smug laugh as she waltzed off towards the dance floor, to be swept into the arms of an extremely muscular looking man. James looked most put out.

'What exactly does he have, that I don't?'

Alec looked his best friend up and down. No one could fill a dinner jacket out quite like James, the broad shoulders, the tall, long frame causing the heavy black material to fall perfectly, the long muscular legs seemed endless in the exquisitely cut black trousers. The pure bleached whiteness of his shirt matched his teeth perfectly, the starkness of the black and white only broken by the glittering blue of his eyes. The man looked good; Alec had to admit, but then, so did he. The black was softer on Alec, the broadness of his own shoulders tapering into lean hips, and legs as long as James's. With his blonde hair sleeked back, and his green eyes darkened by a scowl, he was as striking as his friend.

Usually when the pair of them were together, women couldn't take their eyes off them. Tonight though, it was as if they were invisible. It really was beginning to get to them both; the prospect of meeting an attractive woman or four had been the only good thing they could think of about the evening.

'Perhaps he has a really enormous...' Alec started to put his theory over.

'Hardly.' Bond snapped. 'And please, I really do not want to think about the contents of other men's trousers.'

'I was going to say 'wallet',' Alec said wryly.

Bond grimaced. 'How long do we have to stay?'

'Until the end.'

'Is there any chance we could escape for a cigarette?'

Alec checked his watch. 'Give it another ten minutes or so. This so-called Mr. Big is supposed to be arriving soon.'

The pair of them slumped against the wall, both feeling thoroughly depressed.

'Perhaps the next time we're asked does anyone want to volunteer for the assignment to Siberia, we should just go for it,' Bond mused.

'It can't be any worse than this,' Alec grumbled.

'Even with the risk of being eaten alive by Siberian tigers?'

'As I said, couldn't be any worse.' Alec paused. 'Do Siberian tigers really live in Siberia?'

James hesitated. 'Haven't got the faintest idea.'

'Just think, if we'd gone, we could have found out.'

'It would have been punishment which ever we chose.'

'I really didn't think Q would be this vindictive.'

'Neither did I. After all, we only borrowed it.'

'Completely irrational of him to get so worked up over it.'

'Especially as we didn't know that that wall was there. It wasn't last time.'

Alec nodded. 'To be fair, it was recovered almost in one piece.'

'We were merely testing it.'

'Exactly. How were we to know that it was a one off prototype?'

'Q really shouldn't leave these things lying about.'

'Entirely his fault.'

The pair of them somehow managed to look the picture of wounded innocence.

Alec was roused out of this indignant pose by a striking brunette sauntering past in a plunging dark green dress. Acting quickly, he grabbed a flute of champagne and sprinted after her.

'For you,' he presented it to her with a flourish, and was rewarding by a smile as warm as her deep brown eyes.

As she walked off, glancing back over her shoulder, Alec smoothed back his hair. 'That is how to do it, James, watch and learn.'

'Alec, has anyone ever told you, that you can be too smooth at times?'

'Never. If I'm going to go through hell here, I'm going to make the most of it.'

'Do you really think that M was serious about having to apologise to Q?' James muttered.

'I suppose we'll have to.'

'Three years of work. Destroyed in a matter of minutes. You can understand why he is upset.'

'But apologising? Alec, we are members of the elite! We are the best. And if Q's design wasn't capable of being handled by the best, then we were merely doing him a favour in pointing out the design faults.'

'What design faults?'

'The brake pedal was too close to the accelerator. Anyone with a decent sized foot could have made that mistake. And if you knew the difference between left and right, this would never have happened.'

'I'll show you the difference between a left hook and a right hook in a moment.' Alec muttered darkly.

'I simply asked "Do we turn left here?" and you said "Right."'

'I meant "right" in the affirmative sense. Not in the 'turn right' sense.'

'So you admit it was your fault?'

'It was not my fault.' Alec appeared to be speaking through gritted teeth.

'Well it wasn't mine either!' Bond snapped back.

The two friends glared at each other.

Neither of them were too sure who pushed whom first. Next moment, James had Alec pressed against the wall, while Alec grabbed a handful of James's hair, and debated whether or not biting was allowed in such matters.

'What the hell is going on here?!'

James dropped Alec. Alec slyly managed to kick James's ankle.

'Nothing,' James winced.

'I was told the pair of you were competent, but here you are squabbling like school boys!'

James had a strange desire to whine 'But he started it!' He bit his tongue just in time.

The eagle eyed woman glared at them. She wore too much make up and looked like she would never see this side of fifty again. She scared the life out of both of them.

'Just forget it,' she snapped. 'Now get back to work.'

A tray of champagne was thrust at Alec, a platter of tiny tartlets at James.

'Work!' She snapped at the pair of them, as they stood there, floundering. She stalked off back in the direction of the kitchens muttering under her breath what distinctly sounded like; 'Can't get the staff these days.'

James and Alec scowled at each other, and then stomped off in opposite directions.

Waiters. Bloody waiters.

Oh Q could indeed be vindictive.


End file.
